Praying for boldness

My testimony

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Last month, I was asked if I would like to share a testimony at the next LISS session. Immediately when I saw the message, I knew in my heart that I could not, would not say no. For I’ve learned to always answer a call to serve or testify. 

But I didn’t reply straightaway. I pondered on it for a day, asking God what He wants me to share. 

The answer: Praying for boldness to speak. 

I agreed to share a testimony. But I was surprised (in a good way) that God chose me to carry this message to the LISS participants even when I was going through some struggles. By human standards, I was probably not fit for the job. But God’s ways are not our ways – He sees the potential in us – and somehow He chose me. And I felt thankful and blessed, encouraged to know that God still has a purpose for me even when I was struggling. 

(So if you’re going through difficulties right now, let me affirm you and tell you that God is with you, and there is a purpose even when you don’t see a positive point yet.) 

When we say yes to God, God equips us for what we set out to do. To prepare for the sharing, God sent promptings through the Holy Spirit during that week, revealing to me what I should say, like a run-through. Thoughts were so smooth like a river flowing – and helped me to be calm and not nervous. 

The day before the sharing, I wrote down a few points on a cue card in case I forgot or panicked. Didn’t end up using those notes. 

My mum asked me if I had planned out what to say. I replied, generally. I know the topic. She asked if I had written notes. I said no. Why not, she asked. What if you forget what you were supposed to say? 

I replied, then the Holy Spirit will teach me what to say. While I do all I can to prepare for it, on the actual day, there may be something else I need to say, and God will lead me. 

The day came. I fasted and prayed. 

The session began with singing. I began to panic. Was I ready? I was calm before but now I was scared. My fellow ministry members reassured me that I was going to be ok. I hardly remember walking up to the front and taking the mike. How I managed to stand there and speak in front of the 120+ people… I, myself, am amazed.

So I began by saying: 

“Peace be with you. Later as I share my testimony, you’ll see why my standing here and speaking to you is already testament to, evidence of, what God can do in your life.” 

He can transform you, building you from weakness to strength, from fear to courage, from selfish to selfless, from sin to grace. 

There is a video of the testimony, perhaps when I am able to get a copy of it, I will share it here. 

As I was speaking, I scanned the faces in the crowd. Those who smiled or nodded at certain words… they encouraged me to keep going. My heart was focused on sharing God’s love. My mind was focused on listening. My mouth was smiling as I recalled the joy of embracing God in my life. And thankfully, I was not fumbling over my words like how awful I was at running and jumping over hurdles in P.E. class. 

And then, it was the end. There was more I wanted to say but forgot. It must have been unnecessary for God stopped me there. I found myself walking back to my seat at the back of the auditorium. 

By God’s grace, I testified. 

At the start of 2016, I set goals to encourage myself to be more bold in speaking and sharing about God. The second last on the list was to share a testimony in a large group or at an event. And this was it. By God’s grace, God built me up to this moment, and equipped me to fulfill the call. 

Almost a month later, LISS participants shared their testimonies at a session. It was beautiful, seeing people step forward to praise and thank God. By sharing their faith stories, they also were encouraging others to be brave and share too. 

Out of those who stepped forward, 2 of them mentioned being inspired by my testimony, about boldness. When they mentioned this, some of my ministry members turned towards me with smiles and widened eyes. 

No, it wasn’t my words that inspired these people but it was God’s goodness and grace in the words that spoke to these people. 

The sharings touched me and I kept praising God. How truly amazing you are God! 

In the words of a song: 

How can it be, you chose someone like me, to declare your praise for the glory of your name… 

God chose you. No matter where you are now in life, no matter what you are going through now – everything will one day serve a purpose and you’ll look back and see more clearly than ever before, that God was with you every step of the way and that by your life, you will be living hope for others who are struggling as you struggled. So share your story and be a light for others. 

Amen. 

Author: Valerie

Live. Laugh. Love.

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